Today after Conners check-up I was waiting for our sitter at the house. He was late and I was getting mad. I called Adam to vent and say you know it's ok for you to not work, but if I get in trouble,and don't work, We are in trouble. (Adam's boss Bob is letting him have off to work on the French Creek House and get it ready to sell/rent.)
I was walking to the bathroom when all of the sudden it struck me-WHEN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN? When did I become the breadwinner, a homeowner, a MOM? When did other peoples lifes depend on my income? I am in the Neigborhood Association and have already volunteered to be on two commitees (and chair one)!
I still get weirded out when someone calls me Mrs. Paris, and when someone refers to me as mom. I remember when we were in Kosairs and the nurses would try to get your attention as you sat in the waiting room, prayerful,hopeful, emotional and sleep-deprived, so they would just holler out, " MomParis?". I would sit there like a moron.
I hope I haven't made any of this responsibility stuff sound bad becuase, you know what-it's not. I love every single fucking minute of it. I love being a mom. I love being a responsible and active citizen in my community. There is absolutly nothing like having your baby so glad to see you that he grins ear to ear, or to have him be so tired that he just wants you to hold him and snuggle him-but only for a minute, after all he's a big boy. Seeing people slow down to look at your house, or have someone on the street call you neighbor and welcome you, that's an awesome feeling of accomplishment.
Being an adult does sometimes rule.