I have some shirts in my car, that were my grandpa's, to give to someone. I was driving home yesterday and put my hand on one as it was draped across the front seat. I, of course, lost it immediately. My grandpa was a very broad, solid man. He was the kind of person you could hug and would immediately feel safe and secure. I realized how many times I had probably hugged him while he was weariing these shirts, then I thought about my grandma. I think she has been sleeping on the couch, not ready to go back to the bed they shared for 54 years. They had completely opposite schedules. She stayed up late working on crosswords or geneology and he went to bed and got up so early. Maybe that will be her finality setting in, slipping into the empty bed.
I wish she would slow down. My biggest fear is that she will get rid of all of his clothes now, and regret it a little later. I guess I just dont want her to hurt anymore.
I also took one of his ties that I always remember him wearing, just to have it.
It's been just over 2 weeks, so I know I should be getting over this, but I guess it's hitting me that I didn't realize how big a part he played in my life, all of our lives actually.
It also makes your own morality set in too, which is always good times. meh.