Wednesday, January 2, 2008


My sisters good friend is in the process of going through a divorce.

Mediation is set to start soon, apparently one of the "requirements" for mediation is that she has to have a job. Sounds easy right? It's not. She has newborn twin baby girls and a handicapped son, Her husband told her right before the twins were born that he would stay through their birth then he was out. (He had apparently met some delightful little tart at is work, another delightful little aside, this gem of a man recently ran for local office on the republican ticket, you know family values and all that right? Sanctity of marriage ring a bell d-bag?)

She ended up getting a job from 12-4. AM!!! What the shit? How in the world is this supposed to work. And Indiana is a "no fault" state so he could do what he wants and it pretty much won't matter.

Hey dickheads in congress, let's focus on these kinds of issue. When husbands (or wives) run out on their spouses who are in charge of taking care of the children and leave them with NOTHING! Leave the gay marriage issues out of focus in 2008 (as if their should even be a problem!) and focus on REAL problems.

When I had both Conner and Lilli, I was working for the magazine. The company was small enough that I didn't qualify for maternity leave under the FMLA guideline.s Luckily, they were great in that aspect and I was able to take 6 weeks off. FMLA Maternity leave is 12 weeks. In addition to allowing me that time at home, I was able to bring the babies in to work for a bit, because really, how can someone leave their 6 week old at a daycare? But there are hardly any moms out their that were lucky enough to be in my shoes. They work jobs where they simply couldn't bring their kids with them.

What do we do? How does this get handled? By slim, slim chance anyone reads this, that has actual power to make decisions, I'd love to hear your take, and if there are even any plans to tackle these types of issues in 2008 and beyond.

1 comment:

  1. great post. I would also like to see family values issues move from harassing people who are loving and committed (gay marriage) to dealing with divorce and all the legal issues that have arisen as the result of step-families et al being more and more common. There are innumerable ways I think the laws undermine families. There are no real safety nets for children in poor parenting situations, there is little acknowledgement, much less understanding of the devastation of domestic violence, our inheritance laws are hopelessly antiquated, blah, blah, blah. I actually think its a form of sexual perversity when people care a little too much about the sexual choices of their neighbors. Yes, I think most conservative christians who focus their energy on gay marriage are just closet gays. I mean, how can you care that much what other people do within their committed relationships? If just a tiny bit of that energy went to solving a real family values issue, like children of divorce, or just divorce, we might benefit.